


Eyes Like His

by QueerIsHere



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: A LOT of Angst, A lot of OOC-ness, Alter Boy Eren, Angst, Carla and Grisha don't know what's going on, Cause you don't have enough of that, Christianity, Church AU, Depression, He gets nicer though, I also spell it Jaeger, I do what my brain tells me, I had this idea for a long time, I'll mention in the beginning of each chapter what things will happen though, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, Instead Levi and Mikasa are, Jean Being An Asshole, M/M, Marco The Sweet Angel, Mikasa and Eren are not siblings in this, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Pedophilia, Platonic Levi/ Eren, Rape/Non-con Elements, Seriously this is really fucked up, Sexual Abuse, Sorry for ruining your ship, They are very religiously devoted parents, This AU hasn't been written before for this ship so here you go, This is fucking sick, Underage Sex, Undescriptive Rape, Very triggering, but that's to be expected, child molestation, oh yeah and Hanji is Levi and Mikasa's parental figure, priest erwin, very dark
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-09-14
Updated: 2015-09-13
Packaged: 2018-04-20 16:58:33
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Major Character Death, Rape/Non-Con, Underage
Chapters: 1
Words: 504
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4795193
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/QueerIsHere/pseuds/QueerIsHere
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The Jaeger family was known to be devoted.</p>
<p>Going to church whenever possible to volunteer and to pray, It's no wonder why God has been such an important part on young Eren's life.</p>
<p>Who new that once Eren became an altar boy his place of Sanctuary would turn into his own Hell.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Eyes Like His

**Author's Note:**

> Hey people. This is my first ever published work on AO3! Why did it have to be this one?
> 
> So this story deals with a lot of dark subjects (Rape, Pedophilia, Abuse, etc.) So if those are either very triggering or sensitive subjects to you I recommend you do not read this.
> 
> I will try to make sure that the really bad parts are non-descriptive but that depends on the story flow itself.
> 
> AND ALSO
> 
> I am not trying to trash on this ship or anything (since I ship it too... unfortunately) I just thought that since both Erwin and Eren have a really large age gap it would fit in this certain topic.
> 
> Once again I'm really sorry.

When I was 8 years old, my mother forced me to become an altar boy.

Being her lifelong quest to volunteer and serve God to nearly any extent, she must have heard the angels sing when she thought of the idea in the first place.

Both she and my father had either completely believed that working closer to the priest would bring me closer to God, or they were just both so eager to see me doing something religiously productive for once.

Not that I didn’t believe in God or anything or didn’t perform my daily prayers, it was just that, being an 8 year old, Religion wasn’t really the most important thing in my life.

At least, not when **Jean Kirstein** was there.

Day in and day out, that guy had no self-restraint, completely hell-bent to make my time at the elementary school both a painful and unpleasant one.

Each day I would come home with my arms and face covered in bruises and grime.

And each time my mother would make me strip and go straight to the bath as she would make me pray continuously for the next hour as she scrubbed my skin red and raw, forming more bruises than before.

“Only God knows how to help you, child,” she said exasperatedly, “I certainly cannot.”

To this, I would only shrug and hug her when given the chance.

            -------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

My first day as an altar boy wasn’t unpleasant. For once I had not felt the pull of sleep and boredom as I could actually move around and concentrate on other things than our priest’s smooth, droning voice.

I could sit with my friends to the side as the prayers pressed on without my mother’s glare focused on me.

I had enjoyed the small amount of freedom that becoming a server had gained for me.

I had enjoyed church.

Jean didn’t seem as annoying.

And life was good.

At least it was.

Not a month passed when I first felt a gentle caress on my shoulders.

A mouth whispering ‘Good job, today,’ in my ear.

A lingering touch of a finger upon my lips as our priest blessed and fed us our annual communion.

_But everything was okay, right?_

I believed that God was on my side and that the priest was merely conveying His love through him.

_Everything would be okay, right?_

Nothing mattered except that my mother and father could finally smile at me when they looked at me.

Nothing mattered more than their approval.

God’s approval.

_Everything is okay or else none of this even matters._

Fear is not recognized in the eyes of a believer.

That's what I have learned as I grew up.

My mom didn't notice.

Neither did my dad.

The priest blamed me for it.

So what could I do, except believe it?

Maybe I wasn't faithful enough.

Maybe I didn't go to confession as many times as I should have.

This is God's punishment to me right?

But why did it feel so unforgiving?

 

           

**Author's Note:**

> I'm so sorry.


End file.
